I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
