The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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