It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize