we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
