What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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