dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Randomize
