my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
