hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
