Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
This is classic penis vs brain.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
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