Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
