im drinking this country out of the recession.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
