Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
