Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
if i died would you start the facebook group?
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
