it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I want to be your penis for a week.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
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