We're like a lot better than the average bears
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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