I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
