I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
