I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Randomize
