she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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