it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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