pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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