So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
