maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
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