Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
