Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
