i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I just cut my nipple shaving
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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