I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
