Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
