i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
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