I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
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