If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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