what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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