If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
