My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Randomize
