why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Randomize