i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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