i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
