Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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