Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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