I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
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