could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I am naked and annoyed.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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