thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Randomize
