While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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