rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
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