well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
