mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
