That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize