is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
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