I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize