My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
