if you like me you must not know who I am
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I'm getting married
To pizza
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
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