Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
