'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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