Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
His hands were made for my vagina.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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