First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
