sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
