i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Randomize