Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Randomize
