im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Damn victory sex feels great
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Randomize
