what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
There r osticjed everywhere
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
