dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
