we have pet lesbian snakes
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
