Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Randomize
