you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
