id be glad to
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
