p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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