Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
