I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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