Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
