that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize