I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
