So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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