Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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