i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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