shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
