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oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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