she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
