Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
