btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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